I didn’t expect Off Campus to make me think about the church.

Like many people, I started watching because everyone seemed to be talking about it. I expected the typical college drama filled with jealousy, betrayal, and people bringing out the worst in one another.

Instead, I was surprised.

At every turn, when I expected pettiness, I found kindness.
When I expected sabotage, I found support.
When I expected shallow relationships, I found vulnerability.

As I watched, I found myself rooting for almost everyone. (Okay, maybe not Sean.)

And it made me wonder: Why is Off Campus connecting so deeply with people?

The answer, I think, has less to do with romance and more to do with what people are longing for.

They’re longing for genuine friendship.
For emotional safety.
For healing.
For places where they can be fully known without fear of rejection.

And when something in culture connects deeply with people, the church should pay attention.
Not because culture has all the answers.
But because it often reveals what people are longing for.

And if we’re serious about loving and serving people well, understanding those longings matters.

*Minor spoilers ahead.

Vulnerability & Emotional Safety

One of the things Off Campus gets right is creating spaces where people can stop performing.

Throughout the series, we watch characters build trust in their relationships. As trust builds, they slowly lower their defenses, not because someone forces them to be vulnerable, but because they’ve experienced enough safety to be honest.

Spoiler: One of the clearest examples comes after Thanksgiving when Garrett opens up in the car. We see someone wrestling with disappointment, expectations, and emotions he doesn’t quite know what to do with. Hannah doesn’t rush to fix him. She simply makes room for him to share, and cry, and feel.

We see it again when Garrett hands Hannah the unopened can and quietly reminds her, “I got you,'“ and then holds the can while she sings karaoke, keeping his promise to keep her safe.

It’s a simple moment, but it communicates something many people desperately need to hear: You’re safe with me and You don’t have to carry this alone.

Perhaps that’s why scenes like these resonate.

People are longing for emotional safety.
For relationships where they can be honest.
For spaces where they don’t have to pretend everything is fine.

The church should pay attention to that…the church should be that.

Genuine Friendship

Another reason the show connects so deeply is its portrayal of friendship.

Not perfect friendship.
Real friendship.
The kind that shows up.
The kind that stays.
The kind that walks with people through heartbreak, mistakes, family struggles, and uncertainty.

The kind between Logan and Garrett.

Spoiler: When Garrett begins pulling away, Logan notices. He confronts him, speaks honestly about the distance between them, and refuses to pretend everything is fine. But Garrett isn’t ready to talk, so Logan gives him space. And when Garrett is finally ready to open up about what’s really going on with his dad, Logan doesn’t make it about himself.

He doesn’t get defensive.
He doesn’t stay angry.

He realizes Garrett’s struggle was never personal and gives his friend the space to be honest.

That’s what healthy friendship looks like.
Not avoiding difficult conversations. Not pretending problems don’t exist. But creating personal connections where vulnerability, truth, and grace can coexist.

People are longing for friendships like that.

For all our conversations within the church about community, the truth is many people still feel profoundly alone. They attend church regularly but struggle to find relationships where they are truly known.

Yet the early church was built on exactly that kind of connection. People shared meals, carried burdens, and lived life together (maybe not in a dorm or frat house, but you get the point. LOL).

Perhaps the popularity of Off Campus is revealing that people aren’t simply looking for a place to attend.

They’re looking for a place to belong.

The church should pay attention to that…the church should be that.

Healing & Breaking Generational Cycles

A recurring theme throughout Off Campus is the courage to confront the things that shaped us.

We see it in Hannah’s journey. Rather than pretending her past doesn’t affect her, she’s forced to acknowledge the ways it continues to influence her relationships, fears, and sense of safety. Her story isn’t about instantly overcoming trauma. It’s about learning to trust again.

We see it in Garrett’s story too.

Spoiler: Beneath his confidence is a young man determined not to become his father, while fearing that’s his destiny. He doesn’t want to repeat the patterns he’s inherited. He wants something different.

And isn’t that true for so many of us?

Many people walk into church carrying wounds they didn’t create.

Shame.
Fear.
Abandonment.
Messages about their worth they’ve believed for years.

Yet churches sometimes focus so heavily on behavior that we overlook the pain beneath it.

We want people to change.
God wants people to heal.

Jesus didn’t simply address behavior. He addressed hearts, identity, and the deeper wounds driving what people could see on the surface.

Perhaps that’s one reason Off Campus resonates so deeply.

People aren’t just longing to become better.
They’re longing to heal.

The church should pay attention to that…the church should be that.

Healthy Masculinity

One of the most refreshing parts of Off Campus is its portrayal of masculinity.

When most shows feature a group of college-aged men, we expect immaturity, arrogance, emotional avoidance, and endless competition.

Instead, we get something surprisingly different.

The men in Off Campus are competitive, confident, and protective, but they’re also emotionally available. They express affection for one another. They talk through conflict. They support their friends during difficult seasons. They aren’t afraid to admit when they’re struggling.

Perhaps most importantly, they don’t seem threatened by strong women.

Garrett doesn’t try to control Hannah.
He encourages her.
Supports her.
Believes in her.

The same pattern shows up throughout the friend group. The men aren’t diminished by the strength of the women around them. They’re better because of it.

That’s a refreshing picture in a culture often swinging between two unhealthy extremes: toxic masculinity on one side and confusion about masculinity on the other.

Biblical masculinity was never about domination.

It was never about control.
It was never about having the loudest voice in the room.

Jesus—the ultimate example of manhood—used His strength to serve, protect, elevate, and sacrifice for others.

Perhaps that’s why so many people connect with the male characters in Off Campus.

They’re showing a version of masculinity that is both strong and emotionally healthy.

The church should pay attention to that…the church should be that.

What If Our First Response Was Curiosity?

When something in culture connects deeply with people, perhaps our first response shouldn’t be dismissal.

Perhaps it should be curiosity.

Why is this connecting?
What is this revealing?
What are people longing for?

Because people are longing for vulnerability.
For friendship.
For healing.
For examples of healthy masculinity.

The church should pay attention to that.
More than that, the church should be that.

Hi! I’m Torrie. Thanks for stopping by.

If this article encouraged you, provided language for what you’re feeling,
or challenged you, I’d love to hear your story in a comment below.

What kind of fruit is your theology producing?

It’s a question I’ve been asking myself lately…whether my convictions are producing a heart reflective of Jesus. Or is my heart so intertwined with my convictions that it’s grown hard and cold toward people.

Recently, I shared a post about loving our neighbors in the Pride community. The responses were swift and harsh…and heartbreaking. Judgment, shame, and intense cruelty, wrapped up in Scripture and weaponized by fellow Christians so committed to truth that they’d lost all sense of love.

As I reflected on those interactions, I found myself realizing something: there was a time I never would have written that post because my convictions wouldn’t have allowed me to lead with compassion.

I grew up in a conservative Christian environment where lines were clear between right and wrong, truth and compromise, biblical and worldly. There was little room for gray. If you weren’t for us, you were against us.

Part of that framework included a strong belief in traditional marriage and biblical sexuality. But somewhere along the way, I began to believe that embracing biblical truth meant rejecting anything…and anyone that appeared to contradict it.

Today, I love listening to someone share their story and learning from their life experience. But back then I wasn’t interested in understanding differing perspectives, hearing about unfamiliar life circumstances, or learning from others. And while I wasn’t as outspoken back then, I held this belief tightly.

Looking back, I realize my convictions weren’t the problem. My heart was.

The Holy Spirit eventually began exposing something in me that I couldn't see on my own. The beliefs and ideologies I’d trusted to be based on Scripture were actually rooted in a fear of curiosity, empathy, and compassion. Rather than digging into the Bible myself, I’d trusted the leadership and direction of pastors and church leaders to decide that preserving Truth was greater than loving people.

I had become more concerned with being right than becoming like Jesus, and I didn’t know how to fix it or where to start. So I prayed…

“Lord, help me see people the way You see them, and help me love them like you do.”

I wasn’t asking Him to change my convictions.
I was asking Him to change my heart.

One of the ways He answered that prayer came through an unexpected friendship.

Years ago, I became friends with another parent at my children’s school. We connected through our kids and worked together as PTO moms. Eventually, their family moved across the country, but we stayed connected through social media.

Over time, her posts revealed that she was an atheist and that she and her teens were navigating conversations around gender identity, sexuality, trauma, and belonging. Their experiences were so different from my own that I often found it difficult to relate and (full transparency) the topics made me uncomfortable to read.

There were moments when I considered unfollowing her.
I wondered if by simply following her account, I was somehow affirming things that went against my personal convictions.

But I stayed.
I read.
I learned.

Reading her posts forced me to confront perspectives I had spent most of my life avoiding.
• I paid attention to the stories she shared about pain, rejection, bigotry, and judgement.
• I listen to the harsh reality of how Christians had wounded her and her family.
• I fought the urge to respond or defend a perspective.

What surprised me most was that listening didn’t weaken my convictions.
It strengthened my compassion.

For the first time, I wasn’t looking at an issue.
I was seeing at a person.

A person created in the image of God.
A person carrying deep wounds.
A person trying their best as they struggle through life.
A person with a story.
A person Jesus loves.

Over time, something changed in me.
Kinda like the Grinch, I noticed my heart starting to grow.
The more I listened, the softer and warmer it became.
Suddenly being right wasn’t as important as being like Jesus, not just with her, but with people in general.

Years later, she posted a comment that I’ve never forgotten.

Those words still sit heavily with me. At a time when I was reexamining what I had been taught, testing long-held beliefs against Scripture, and learning to separate human ideology from the heart of Jesus, she’d seen Jesus in me.

Learning to listen had changed me. Empathy had begun to open the door for me to consider someone else’s experience. So when we eventually began to dialogue, I wasn't defending a position. I was responding from my heart.

Throughout that season, I spent a lot of time studying the life of Jesus—how He lived, how He welcomed, how He responded, how He listened, how He spoke, how He saw people, and how He loved them. It’s a discipleship study rhythm I continue to practice still. And I decided that if I was going to see and love like Jesus, I had to follow His lead with ALL people, not just the ones that made me comfortable.

That friendship taught me that conviction and compassion can coexist.

I was afraid extending compassion would cost me my convictions.
The truth is, it’s drawing me closer to the heart of Jesus.

Growing up, I had absorbed the idea that extending compassion meant compromising truth. But Jesus was never concerned that compassion would dilute conviction.
He embodied both.

And so should I.

I’ve heard it said that intent doesn’t diminish impact.
And for a long time, I believed defending Truth was more important than considering the impact of my words and actions. But, if our commitment to Truth comes at the expense of someone understanding that Jesus loves them, died for them, and wants a relationship with them, then we’ve missed the point completely.

Compassion doesn’t require us to compromise personal convictions.
Kindness doesn’t demand agreement.
Empathy doesn’t require endorsement.

So I’ll leave you with the same questions I’ve been asking myself:

• What kind of fruit is your theology producing?

• Has it made you more compassionate?

• More curious?

• More willing to listen?

• More like Jesus?

• Or has it made you colder, harder, and more convinced of your own righteousness?

Following Jesus has never required us to abandon conviction.
But it does require us to surrender our contempt.

And perhaps that’s where a change of heart begins.

Hi! I’m Torrie. Thanks for stopping by.

If this article encouraged you, provided language for what you’re feeling,
or challenged you, I’d love to hear your story in a comment below.

Some things don’t stop fitting all at once. They slowly start to feel tighter.

Less comfortable.
Harder to breathe in.

Like your favorite pair of jeans you used to reach for without thinking. They used to fit perfectly. So comfortable that you never had to wonder how’d they feel. Worn long enough that they molded to you. They moved with you. They belonged to you. They felt like home.

But then, slowly, something shifts.

At first it’s subtle. Almost unnoticeable.

The job you once loved starts to feel a little tighter. Not unbearable, just different. You still show up, still do the work, still tell yourself it’s fine. You can make this work.

So you start adjusting, adding little strategies to force yourself to fit. Wearing emotional “spankx” to quietly hold everything in place. But every day, the fit gets tighter and you find yourself longing to be anywhere other than in the space that is suffocating you.

What used to feel effortless now requires an abundance of effort and focus.

And because leaving feels too big and too uncertain, you stay.

Then you try something new.

A different role. A different title. A different “style” of what life could look like.

It feels like shopping for a new pair of jeans in a completely different decade of fashion.

You try on what’s trending, what other people swear by, what looks good on someone else’s life, what you’ve pinned on Pinterest.

But nothing fits right.

One is too tight in places you didn’t expect. Another feels too loose, like you’re swimming in it. You stand in dressing room lighting wondering why nothing feels like you anymore.

So you leave empty-handed, defeated, frustrated, and exhausted.

And you do what you have to do to keep forcing yourself to fit in a space you know you’ve outgrown because if you’re honest, the alternative is just too overwhelming.

Then it happens. The moment you can’t avoid.
The seam gives out.

You didn’t notice it at first because you were focused on making it work. But while holding your breath and forcing the zipper closed, the fabric had already been fraying.

And suddenly, it splits.

Not gently. Not metaphorically.

It just gives out.
You give out.
You reach your limit and either burn out, blow up, or melt down.

There’s no more adjusting. No more managing. No more holding it together.
You have to let go.

Moving on is no longer an option. It’s the only option.

And I get it because I’ve been here.

I’ve lived in that tension and discomfort. The anxiety of not knowing what comes next. The frustration of trying to force something to work that clearly doesn’t anymore. The grief of realizing something you once loved (and probably still do or you wouldn’t be trying so hard to save it) has run its course.

And when you’re at the height of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion, you’re reminded, “but wait…There’s more!” With bloodshot eyes and a weary spirit you, rally to face the part you were avoiding all this time: The In-Between.

The searching. The uncertainty. The fear that maybe nothing else will fit again.

You try to make sense of it all, but you’re exhausted and honestly, you’re tempted to give up and just live in sweats forever—literally and emotionally.

But after enough wandering, something happens.

You find it.

Not loud. Not trendy. Not complicated.

Just right.

It that fits like it was made for you. You don’t have to force it or convince yourself. It just works.

And for the first time in a long time, you exhale.

I can say this now that I found my “new pair of jeans.” And it’s amazing! There’s peace in it. Ease in it. A sense of alignment I didn’t realize I had been missing while I was busy trying to hold everything together in something that no longer fit.

That’s what aligned beginnings feel like; they don’t just look different, they feel like relief. But we have to be willing to let go of the old, so God can give us what He has next for us.

Isaiah 43:19 says:

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”

As we grow in Him, God grows us. He grows our gifts, our capacity, our influence…not for ourselves, but to grow His kingdom. So it’s natural that we would outgrow old spaces, relationships, mindsets, ect. A child doesn’t wear the same size clothes as an adult. Yet, we want to rely on our comfort to let us stay in spaces that we know no longer fit.

Because letting go is hard.

We tend to interpret endings as rejection when sometimes they are redirection.

And the In-Between—the confusion, the searching, the uncertainty—that space is not wasted. It’s formation. It’s where we learn to stop clinging to what used to fit and start trusting God for what will.

So if you’re in that space right now, tired of forcing old things to work and unsure what comes next, you are not stuck. You are in transition.

And God isn’t absent in the wrestling and waiting. He’s preparing something even better for you.

Hi! I’m Torrie, and I’m glad you’re here. Thanks for reading this article.

If it encouraged you, met you in a season you didn’t have language for,
or helped you name something you’ve been feeling
I’d love to hear your story in a comment below.

I don’t like change.

Let me clarify—I don’t mind a little refresh here and there. A new coffee shop? Absolutely. New city for vacation? Sounds like a fun adventure. In fact, I recently freshened up our home decor. Out with the farmhouse. In with “cozy boho.”

But major life change? The kind that uproots everything familiar and asks you to trust God in the middle of uncertainty?

Yeah…that’s a little harder for me.

I’ve never been the “jump first and figure out how to fly on the way down” kind of girl. My natural bend has always leaned toward stability. Predictability feels safe. Familiar rhythms feel comforting. I like knowing what’s next, what’s expected, and where my feet are landing.

The next couple of months are the picture of predictability…unless you count:

• my daughter graduating high school,

• my son getting married,

• both of my kids moving out over the next couple of months,

• resigning from a job I’ve had for almost a decade,

• and launching an entirely new business.

Other than that? Things are super calm.

(Don’t worry. I already have my counseling appointments scheduled for the next several months.)

But underneath the humor—and honestly, underneath a blend of excitement, joy, and sadness—I’ve been realizing something important:

Change may be uncomfortable, but it’s often where God does His deepest work.

We love the idea of God being steady, faithful, and unchanging. And He is. Hebrews 13:8 reminds us that “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”

But while God Himself does not change, He absolutely invites us to.

Scripture is full of people who encountered God and then had to leave something familiar behind.

Abraham left home without knowing where he was going.
Moses went from shepherd to leader.
Esther went from orphaned girl to queen and protector of her people.
The disciples left their nets and families.
Peter left the boat.
Paul lost the life he thought he wanted in order to discover the one God had for him.

And if I’m honest, I think part of what makes change so difficult is that it exposes how much I want control. Maybe you do too. We want guarantees. We want clarity before obedience. We want five-year plans with highlighted timelines and backup options.

But faith rarely works that way.

So often, God asks us to trust Him before we feel ready.
Throughout Scripture, He says “Go” long before He reveals the full plan. Not because He enjoys watching us squirm—but because growth rarely happens when everything stays comfortable.

Seeds have to break open before they grow.
Muscles stretch before they strengthen.
Even caterpillars dissolve completely before becoming something new.

And maybe that’s the invitation hidden inside seasons of change:
Not just to survive transition…
but to become someone new within it.

Lately, I’ve been grieving and celebrating at the same time. I’m excited and anxious. Proud and emotional. Hopeful and unsure—sometimes all at the same time.

But I’m learning that maturity in faith doesn’t mean we stop feeling the weight of change.

It means we learn to trust that God is still present inside it.

Maybe you’re in a season like that too.

Maybe things feel uncertain.
Maybe something is ending.
Maybe God is asking you to loosen your grip on what’s familiar.
Maybe your next season feels exciting and heartbreaking all at once.

If so, you’re not failing because change feels hard.

You’re human.

And maybe the question isn’t:
“How do I avoid change?”

Maybe the better question is:
“What might God be trying to grow in me through it?”

Because sometimes the very thing we’re resisting is the place where God is preparing us for what’s next.

Even when it’s uncomfortable.
Even when it’s unfamiliar.
Even when we’d really prefer a detailed itinerary first.

As I grow closer to Jesus, I’m discovering that while change is still uncomfortable and at times scary, it’s also exciting. It’s an opportunity to reflect on God’s promises, remember how He’s shown up before, and stay expectant for what He’s doing next.

If you’re navigating faith, belonging, growth, or the tension of becoming,
you’re welcome here.

As Christians, many of us have been taught to lean into the “positive” emotions—joy, gratitude, peace—and to avoid the “negative” ones like anger, grief, or discomfort.

But what if the real divide isn’t between positive and negative?
What if it’s between comfortable and uncomfortable?

That shift matters. Especially when it comes to how we show up in conversations about social and cultural issues.

The Discomfort We Don’t Know What to Do With

We’re quick to celebrate unity.
We love the language of love.
But when racism, injustice, gender dynamics, classism, or inequity surface, many of us freeze. Get quiet. Change the subject.

Not necessarily out of malice—but out of discomfort.

We’ve been discipled into emotional avoidance:

• Sad? Quote a Bible verse.

• Angry? “Just pray about it.”

• Uncertain? “God’s in control.”

• Uncomfortable? “Let’s just focus on the Gospel.”

None of those responses are inherently wrong—but they can become spiritual bypasses when we use them to avoid tension instead of engaging it.

Jesus Didn’t Bypass Discomfort

Jesus didn’t avoid messy conversations or hard truths.

He sat with the woman at the well, knowing the cultural and social discomfort it would cause.
He touched the skin of a leper.
He defended the woman caught in adultery.
He flipped tables in the temple—not out of rage, but righteous grief.
He wept.
He listened.
He called things what they were.

Jesus leaned into discomfort for the sake of love, justice, and healing.

What If the Holy Spirit Is Using Discomfort to Grow Us?

When a conversation around race, privilege, poverty, or gender makes us uneasy…
When a story challenges what we’ve always assumed to be true…
When a lived experience doesn’t match our theology…

That doesn’t mean we’re being led astray.

It might mean we’re being invited deeper.

Into empathy.
Into understanding.
Into a Gospel that isn’t just true—but transforming.

Discomfort Isn’t Dangerous—Avoidance Might Be

Spiritual maturity isn’t measured by how quickly we return to comfort.
It’s shown in how faithfully we stay present in discomfort long enough to let God move through it.

Next time you feel that inner resistance, instead of running from it, ask:

“Holy Spirit, what are you trying to show me here?”

Because sometimes the most sacred work starts in the most uncomfortable places.

And Jesus meets us there.

If this stirred something in you…
You’re not alone. These conversations aren’t easy—but they matter deeply.

Sit with it. Pray through it. And maybe… start the conversation.

You can forward this post to a friend, bring it to your small group, or reach out to me directly—I’d love to hear what resonated or what you’re wrestling with.
You don’t have to walk alone.

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Hi! I’m Torrie
If you’re new here, WELCOME! I’m so glad you stopped by. You can learn more about me (Torrie), the heart behind Mixed.oloy, and the services I provide on my website. Let’s connect! I’d love to meet you and hear your story!

Meet Torrie

I didn’t grow up learning about or celebrating Juneteenth. When it came to the national forefront a few years ago, I started to learn. I listened to stories, followed social media feeds, and watched documentaries to understand its significance.

If I’m honest, a lot of what I learned made me uncomfortable—but I sat in the discomfort, determined to gain understanding for a history and experience apart from my own.

That discomfort, learning, and understanding grew into empathy and compassion. Now, I guide church teams to explore how Jesus modeled a life that blends discipleship and diversity—with Juneteenth being one of many meaningful entry points.

Why?

Because we are called to serve.
We’re called to make disciples.
We’re called to love.

But how can we do that if we don’t have empathy and compassion for the pain someone is carrying?
How do we serve if we aren’t willing to listen to their true need?
How do we listen if we’re always quick to give advice or move past the hard stuff?

Some might argue that conversations around Juneteenth—or topics tied to cultural tension, historical wounds, or social complexity—don’t belong in church.

But if we are to model our lives after Jesus, we can’t shy away from the uncomfortable.
Throughout the Gospels, we find Jesus stepping directly into the tensions of His time:

• He engaged the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4), breaking racial, religious, and gender norms to offer dignity and truth.

• He called out injustice in the temple (Matthew 21:12–13), confronting systems that oppressed the poor and exploited the vulnerable.

• He healed a Roman centurion’s servant (Luke 7:1–10), showing compassion even to those who represented an occupying and unjust regime.

Jesus didn’t avoid the cultural, social, or political barriers of His day. He stepped through them with truth, compassion, and empathy.

Juneteenth gives us that same opportunity.

It’s not just a historical date—it’s a window into the lived pain, resilience, and faith of generations. For the Church, understanding Juneteenth isn’t about politics. It’s about people. It’s about discipleship. And it’s about love.

If you’re a church leader who wants to lead with humility and compassion but isn’t sure where to start, I’d love to help. I offer staff trainings, small group facilitation, and consulting that create safe, grace-filled spaces for these hard and holy conversations.

You don’t have to get it perfect. You just have to be willing to get proximate.
Juneteenth invites us to listen, learn, and love more like Jesus.
If your church is ready to lean in—with grace and courage—I’d be honored to walk alongside you.
Let’s start the conversation.

Curiosity is an opportunity to grow.
If this helped you see Juneteenth in a new light, consider sharing it with someone walking the same road.

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As I stood in our kitchen waiting for my second cup of liquid energy to finish brewing, I glanced outside. It’s a beautiful, mild morning in Las Vegas. The kind that invites you to take in the peace, solitude, and 80º temperatures on the back patio before the triple digits return. Our backyard, like most in the city, is surrounded by an 8-foot-high cinderblock wall, which we have hidden with equally tall flowering oliander hedges and rose bushes, not because they’re my favorite plants, but because I don’t have a green thumb and these seem to be the only two things I can keep alive in my yard.

Living in the desert but being from the Midwest, my husband and I need to incorporate as much “green” into the shades of brown surrounding us (hence the number of shrubs). And I like a splash of color to brighten things up, so the green has to include some flowers. I can always count on my favorite rose bush to be the star of the backyard. At its seasonal peak, the sheer weight of the full blooms often causes the plant to bow and bend. And the aroma! I’m not a fan of rose-scented items like lotions or candles, but the intoxicating sweetness from this one plant permeates our backyard!

Earlier in the week, I noticed several baby buds sprouting around the plant. But as I waited in my kitchen, I noticed a deep red color emanating from their tight-green cocoons.

I smiled as I sipped my coffee. I love it when my backyard is in full bloom! I made my way outside to take a closer look, and that’s when it struck me—we are just like these blooms. While we all have the opportunity to blossom, some of us (like these flowers) may not experience the fullness of the beauty God has created in us.

What???
Let me explain.

Maybe you’re familiar with the parable Jesus told about the farmer who scattered his seeds, some landing on rocky soil, some on hard soil, the wind blew some away, and some fell on healthy soil and took root (Matthew 13:1-23, Mark 4:11-20, Luke 8:4-15). While I stared at these rose buds, I had another thought: just because a plant takes root doesn’t mean it reaches its full potential. Looking at the variety of blooms on the bush, I recognized three possible outcomes for these new flowers on the cusp of blooming:

1. Burnt by the Sun

It’s not uncommon for flowers to become victims of the harsh desert heat. Exposure to direct sunlight during a Vegas summer with consecutive days topping out at over 100ºF has a damaging impact. While the color remains, the bud never reaches maturity. It remains stuck. And although the plant is still healthy and green, that particular flower’s petals become singed and burnt.

Maybe you feel the same. You’ve been burned by life and experiences. You’re tired of showing up, exhausted from trying, burned out from obligations and responsibility. You’re fragile…brittle…and ready to break.

2. Consumed by Bugs

If heat is one of my roses' biggest enemies, then aphids are the other. Ugh!! These tiny bugs are such a nuisance. Their green color allows them to camouflage into the plant, making them hard to spot but no less destructive. They attach themselves to the stem and premature buds, sucking their sap and preventing them from blooming.

Maybe you can identify. You have people around you who appear to be on your side but are silently draining you. They’re sucking your joy, your creativity, and your ability to dream, leaving you feeling too small and insignificant to be used by God.

3. Robbed of Water

If heat and bugs are the biggest enemies of my roses, then water (and shade) are their greatest need. It’s not a secret that plants need water to grow. However, in the desert, water is a precious commodity. While rare and valuable, it’s essential. Without it, the bloom will wither, and eventually, the plant will die.

Maybe you feel the same way. Dry. Thirsty. You’ve been trying to grow, trying to bloom, trying to do all the things, but you can’t remember the last time you paused for a drink. Jesus said HE is the Living Water, apart from which we can do nothing. But, if we’re honest, that's exactly how we try to accomplish the mission He’s given us…on our own, apart from Him. No rest. No sabbath. No water.

Looking at each of the blooms on the edge of so much beauty, I felt a twinge of sadness. I wondered, “How many of us are also on the cusp of blooming where we’re planted, but we’re allowing the heat from life, the negative voice around us, or the lack of Water to rob us of experiencing the fullness God has for us AND the world from the beauty that will come of it?”

Then He reminded me of one more possible outcome…FULL BLOOM!

In John 15:1-5, Jesus calls Himself the Vine. And when we stay connected to Him, He will allow us to bloom fully in His perfect timing. He will shelter us from the heat. He will protect our thoughts and emotions from negativity and distraction. He will refresh and restore our thirsty souls. When we stay connected to Jesus, we will experience His fullness, becoming a sweet fragrance and radiating beauty that draws others to Him.

So often, we settle for survival when Jesus invites us to flourish. But full bloom isn’t about striving—it’s about staying rooted in Him, trusting His timing, and receiving what only He can provide.

Reflection
Where in your life might you be on the edge of blooming—but feel held back by burnout, negativity, or spiritual dryness? If you feel comfortable sharing, I’d love to chat with you. You can drop a comment or email me at torriesorge@gmail.com.

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Invitation
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Mamie Tape Takes A Stand is the true story of Mamie Tape, a Chinese-American girl who fought for the right to an equal education. While many of us are familiar with the landmark case, Brown vs. the Board of Education and the story of Ruby Bridges, few know the story and cases that preceded it. Mamie Tape is one such case.

I asked Maire to share her heart and purpose behind writing Mamie’s story. I pray her words both enlighten and challenge you. Enjoy!

Interwoven Histories Inspire Mamie Takes a Stand

At the start of COVID in 2020, I read Separate is Never Equal, by Duncan Tonatiuh, aloud to my six-year-old daughter, who had chosen it from her school’s online library. “Interesting choice,” I thought to myself. The familiar phrase reminded me of the landmark Supreme Court case of Brown v. Board of Education in 1954, but the focus of this picture book biography was a Latina girl named Sylvia Mendez, not Linda Brown. I mistakenly assumed this story would be set in the deep South–wasn’t that where most of the segregated schools were located during this time period? 

As I kept reading, more cities were listed that had segregated schools: El Modena, Garden Grove, Santa Ana, and Westminster; cities not far from the neighborhood where I grew up in Orange County, California. As a child, my family often drove to Little Saigon in Westminster to enjoy a delicious Chinese meal. I reflected on all the countless times we went to dine on dim sum, yet I never knew this Chinese restaurant was a mile away from where the Mendez case had taken place in 1947. 

For many years, I taught second and third grade just north of OC (Orange County) in Los Angeles, where the majority of my students came from families whose parents had immigrated from Mexico. Even the focus of my master’s project had been on multicultural children’s literature, and I had intentionally selected picture books for my class where the cultural heritage of my students would be represented. How had I never learned this history of separate Mexican schools in California?

I flipped to the back of Separate is Never Equal. I wanted to learn as much as I could about the case of Mendez et al v. Westminster et al. I looked up references in the bibliography. I was curious about this important piece of history that hit so close to home. One rabbit trail led to another, and suddenly, this case became even more personal. In my research of school segregation cases, I discovered that an eight-year-old Chinese American girl, Mamie Tape, was denied entrance into her local public school in San Francisco in 1884. What?! The Chinese weren’t allowed to go to public schools in California too? How did I not know about separate Chinese schools? Immediately, I saw myself reflected in the pages of history.

I passionately searched for anything I could find about the Tape v. Hurley case. I dug through online archives, articles, documentaries, and photographs; read books about Asian American history; and interviewed historians, professors, Chinese elders, and the Tape family descendants. While I was researching the Tape v. Hurley case, which happened during the time of the 1882 Chinese Exclusion Act, many Chinese Americans were experiencing anti-Asian hate during the height of the COVID pandemic. My heart mourned for the harm and violence done toward the elderly in my Chinese community as they were simply walking down the street to shop for groceries, meet a friend, take the bus, or exercise. The rhetoric of blaming and scapegoating the Chinese for this new disease seemed so similar to the articles I had been researching from the late 1800s. How could I raise awareness and help prevent history from repeating itself? 

I remembered how I had learned about Sylvia Mendez through reading a children’s book. Busy parents would take 20 minutes to read a bedtime story to their child, just like I did when I read Separate is Never Equal to my daughter. When I began my research in 2020, there hadn’t been any picture book biography written about Mamie Tape yet. That’s when I knew I had to write this story.

One significant primary source that struck a chord in my heart was a letter that Mamie Tape’s mother had written to the school board that was published in a California newspaper. Mrs. Mary Tape boldly spoke up against the racial discrimination Mamie and her family had experienced: “Is it a disgrace to be Born a Chinese? Didn’t God make us all!!! What right! have you to bar my children out of the school because she is a Chinese Decend?” Mrs. Tape wasn’t afraid to speak up against injustice and how segregation was incongruent with the board members’ outward piety: “I suppose, you all goes to churches on Sundays! Do you call that a Christian act to compell my little children to go so far to a school that is made in purpose for them.” 

 I knew I wanted to quote Mrs. Tape’s letter in my book, Mamie Takes a Stand, but I struggled with whether or not to correct Mrs. Tape’s non-standard English. I decided to quote Mrs. Tape’s words precisely how she wrote them in 1885. I wanted to emphasize that even if you’re an immigrant and don’t write with impeccable English grammar or spelling, you can still stand up when you see or experience injustice. Your voice matters; you have inherent worth and value because you have been made in the image of God.

In a well-known letter, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. wrote on April 16, 1963 (exactly 78 years after Mrs. Mary Tape’s letter was published on April 16, 1885) from a Birmingham jail: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” 

Interestingly, the Mendez et al case occurred because the Mendez family was leasing and caring for the Munemitsu farm, which belonged to a Japanese American family that had been unjustly forced to move to an incarceration camp during World War II.  The Mendez case surprisingly had an Asian American connection. Our lives and histories are more interwoven than we think. We need to stand together in solidarity.

Mamie Tape’s case began 70 years before Brown v. Board of Education.

Mendez et al v Westminster et al was decided 7 years before Brown v. Board of Education.

This year, 2024, marks the 70th anniversary of Brown v. Board of Education. 

Each case built on another. 

I hope my book, Mamie Takes a Stand: The True Story of Mamie Tape, a Chinese American Girl’s Fight for School Rights, will help readers grow in empathy and respect for others and see how our histories are interconnected. When we see each person as having inherent worth and created in the image of God, it will bring us closer to creating a more just and compassionate world. 

Wrap up

If you’re like me, you find yourself like Marie asking, “How did I not know? Why wasn’t this part of our history lessons?” While it’s true, that we don’t know what we don’t know, it’s also true that the answers are there if we choose to look. And our histories are more connected than we might assume.

Like Mamie, Marie faced obstacles, roadblocks, setbacks, and disappointments as she struggled to give a voice to this important story and piece of history. And like Mamie, Marie preserved. She didn’t give up. As a result, we have the opportunity to learn about Mamie Tape’s impact!

I strongly believe that children’s books are a great way to learn no matter our age. My personal library is a collection of both children's and adult books because both have value. So please don’t allow the fact that this is a children’s book to give it (or any children’s book) less credibility. These narratives have a way of explaining and connecting with us even as adults in a beautiful way.

Marie also includes an added bonus at the end of the book that you won’t want to miss. Since I love spoilers, I really want to share it, but I won’t. (Ahhh! It’s so cool. I really want to tell you!)

Mamie Tape Takes a Stand is a must-have for your home and school library! Click below to order your copy today! Actually, grab one for you and one for a friend, school, or local library.

Buy Mamie Tape Takes A Stand

Follow Marie on Instagram, Facebook or her website.

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Recently, I was invited to lead a session on the importance of diversity and inclusion to a group of church youth leaders. I was thrilled to receive the invitation! Although I love sharing and discussing this topic, I was more excited because I’d been praying for an open door with this church for some time. This invitation was an answer to prayer!

As I began outlining my content to address the specific needs of this group (something I do every time I teach or speak), I realized that the leadership and I were each stepping into potentially unstable territory. While comments about God’s heart for diversity had been made by senior leadership during Sunday messages, and the church is known to be a multi-ethnic place of worship, welcoming people from all backgrounds, ethnicities, and cultures, a class or training like this had never been offered to their volunteers. This would be a first!

When we met to finish collaborating on my content and their objective, I commended the Next Gen team on their courage. I wanted them to understand that while I present my sessions from a Jesus-centered perspective with grace, humility, and supported scriptures, feathers can still get ruffled, and people can become upset or offended. While it wasn’t requested, I also shared my slides and handout exercises early for approval so that no one would be surprised or caught off-guard. The way I see it, even though I have the experience, training, and certification to teach and train on the topics of diversity, inclusion, and equality, that doesn’t mean I can present this sensitive material without the knowledge and approval of the leadership because afterward, they will have to address and hard conversations.

After an hour-long meeting, we all agreed on the content that would be presented, including a handout that I wanted the attendees to do during the workshop. Let’s be honest: after a training or workshop, very few people actually complete all of the worksheets in the folder on their own time. The one I included was foundational to identifying some of the barriers in our lives that keep us from seeing and loving others the way Jesus does.

Although I wasn’t scheduled to speak until the second day of the leader training weekend, I attended the first night to be with the team and have an idea of the environment. That night, two pastors from the church spoke on the importance of being an Emotionally Healthy Leader. They stressed that apart from God, we can do nothing, provided practical tips and tools to assess our own emotional health, and suggested additional resources, specifically The Emotionally Healthy Leader: How Transforming Your Inner Life Will Deeply Transform Your Church, Team, and the World by Peter Scazzero. While this was incredible and necessary content, the pastors issued a challenge that stood out to me. A warning, really…that when God wants to transform an area of your life, you’re going to feel a wrestling, an unsettledness, an undescribable level of discomfort. They went on to encourage the attendees to resist the urge to ignore these feelings, get upset, or even leave. “Lean in,” they said. “Ask God for clarity and wisdom. Don’t let the discomfort scare you.”

Little did I know then how much I would rely on these words of wisdom during my session.

I arrived the next morning excited for what God had in store. As I made my way to the breakfast table for a cheese danish and a cup of coffee, one of the leaders whisked me into a side room where I was informed that an attendee from the previous evening was very upset with the handout exercise that would be covered in my session (yes, the same one that I’d submitted for approval). Attendees had received folders when they arrived the night before, complete with handouts and information for each session throughout the training. Without any context, the individual had become enraged that a church would be talking about the dreaded “P” word…privilege.

The leadership team handled the situation with both grace and courage. While the person wanted the workshop canceled, the team remained steadfast, understanding the value and importance of presenting diversity and inclusion to their leaders.

There was a time when this situation would have completely spun me. I would have second-guessed my content, choosing to rewrite it in the moment, eliminating anything that might be considered offensive in any way. Not this time. As I listened to the staff member convert the attendee’s concerns and position, I had an overwhelming sense of peace. I’d been prayerful over the content, this event, and the church. This wasn’t a personal attack on me. This was a direct reflection of what the pastors had warned about the previous evening…this was the Holy Spirit at work digging up the soil in this individual’s life. This was the upset, uncomfortable wrestling they had warned against.

Maybe you’re wondering:
”How do you know that’s what was going on? “
”How do you know it wasn’t just an angry, narrow-minded person?”

I don’t. But I do know what I’ve experienced in my own life. And I know what we had been praying for…and I know the challenge that the pastors presented the night before regarding what transformation looks and feels like. This situation checked every box.

I remember what it felt like when God began working in my own heart. I vividly recall the uncomfortable wrestling I felt in my soul as values, ideas, and theologies I’d held sacred came into question. It wasn’t easy to admit that things I’d been taught were wrong. Disbelief flooded my thoughts as I read, uncovering stories, experiences, and history that I’d never learned…not in high school, AP classes, or college. Because of my own experience, I could see and love the person who complained. I was able to meet them where they were and understand what they were going through, which allowed me to extend a level of compassion and empathy I wouldn’t have possessed early on.

I went on to teach the session as scheduled, giving everyone ten minutes to complete the handout during the workshop. The upset attendee chose not to stay, which I totally understand. Honestly, there was a time when I wouldn’t have attended a workshop like this either. While I’m not confrontational enough to address the topic with leadership, the old me would have chosen not to attend and then excused myself from the ministry while silently stewing.

Full transparency: there are times when I still feel that unsettled wrestle. My first reaction is to get angry or offended, but I now recognize that as God trying to get my attention.

Rather than getting upset, I’ve learned to ask myself and God one not-so-simple question: “Why does this trigger me so much?” And then I filter my emotion through these six steps:

1. I pray about it.
2. I sit with it.
3. I give God permission to reveal the ‘why’ behind my reaction. What is the true root of my reaction?
4. I confess it.
5. I lament it.
6. I surrender it.

In our society, so many topics, from race to politics to banned books to women preaching and SO much more, have created barriers to the way we see, value, and ultimately love others the way Jesus does. If we’re honest, it’s easier to judge others, make accusations and assumptions, and build thicker, higher walls than to humbly examine our own hearts while asking ourselves the tough question(s) that often uncover some not-so-pretty truths we’d prefer to keep hidden. And yet, self-examination is what Jesus commands of us.

What about you?

• How do you respond when you’re triggered or feel that uncomfortable, unsettled wrestling deep inside? Do you tend to get angry or offended? Do you feel the need to defend your position? Or do you sit with the emotion to understand where it’s coming from?

• How do you feel when you hear the word privilege? What feelings (if any) does it provoke in you?

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Book Update

It’s been about three months since my agent sent my book proposal to potential publishers. Publishing is a slow business, so while this seems like a long time to wait, it’s a very normal part of the process.

Two of the five publishing houses have passed on the young women’s devotional. We’re still waiting to hear back from the other three, including my dream editor and publishing house. Please continue praying as we wait for God’s timing.

In the meantime, God’s opened up a new opportunity for me to begin freelance editing. Together with my long-time graphic designer friend, we’ve partnered with Growmentum Press to provide complete self-publishing services! So, if you have a book you’d love to get into the world and need some help publishing it, let me know. We’d love to have a free consultation with you!

Recommendation Spotlight!

I love children’s books! My personal library has several of them. Don’t let the pictures fool you. Children’s books are great resources for adults to learn and grow! One of my favorite people, Dr. Terence Lester, recently released his first children’s book with his teen daughter, Zion, as his co-author! How cool is that!?

Terence is a writer, author, storyteller, champion for dignity, founder of Love Beyond Walls, and From Streets to Scholarship, his weekly Substack blog. He has had a big influence on me as I’ve embraced diversity and learned to see and love like Jesus. So I’m beyond excited to share their book, Zion Learns to See: Opening Our Eyes to Homelessness.

Based on real-life events, this story follows Zion and her dad as they spend a Saturday at a community center. Zion learns about homelessness as she meets interesting people and discovers that everyone deserves dignity because everyone matters to God.

This sweet book will both warm your heart while challenging you to really see people through Jesus’ eyes. Grab your copy today…and grab an extra for a friend or your school library!

Order Zion Learns to See

I’m beyond grateful you’ve chosen to read these words, spend time with me, and build a safe space for growth, healing, and community here at Mixed.ology. God is moving! And He’s invited us to participate in what He’s doing. I’m so glad we get to be on this adventure together!

Just start…
Don’t you wish is was just that simple?

Some say taking the first step is always the hardest. I get that. I’ve experienced the paralyzing fear of not knowing where or how to start something new. Sorting through all the “what ifs” can be overwhelming and leave us paralyzed.
”What if I mess up?”
”What if I’m pursu…

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But I believe ALL of our stories matter. We have so much to l…

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[NOTE: If you haven’t read Part 1, you’ll want to start there. It will be a helpful backstory to this post.]

Where was I?
Oh yeah, night one of the conference.

After releasing a few tears and sitting through a powerful time of worship and encouragement from our keynote speaker, I attended the professional meet and greet. D…

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I didn’t want to go.
I didn’t want to pack another suitcase, board another plane, or have to be around more people.
I was tired - physically, emotionally, and mentally.

It was only the end of March, and already the year had been A LOT!

• December - I chose to stay at my current job which I’d planned to step down from to purs…

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My eyes scanned the list of new emails in my inbox - several blog articles from accounts I follow, a few promotions I kept meaning to unsubscribe from, and a couple of important messages I starred so I would remember to read them later. Nestled in the middle of the list, was an email from an organization I highly resp…

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I’m not a movie person. And I’m definitely not a movie theater person. The idea of committing the next two and half hours of my life to watching a film, even a great one, while not being able to multitask has me feeling all kinds of ways. But when your kid IS a movie person and invites you to go to a film he heard you say, “Looks…

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It’s a beautiful winter morning in the Las Vegas desert. The cloudless sky is the perfect shade of blue. The sun brings a false sense of warmth to this chilly - no, make that cold - morning. It might surprise you but Las Vegas isn’t always 110 degrees. Winters are cold and windy. It’s currently 36ºF.

My fingers fumble ac…

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Do you ever feel like God’s grace is for everyone except you?

When I felt God nudge me to press pause on Mixed.ology a few months ago, I could sense it wouldn’t be forever. At the time, I thought it would only be for a couple of months. I planned to rest and reset, dream and plan, create and schedule. I planned to rediscove…

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The first time I heard the phrase, I assumed it had something to do with another Hallmark holiday like Valentine’s Day or Sweetest Day. I know I’m not much of a romantic but seriously, how many more holidays do we need as an excuse to buy outrageously priced cards, flowers, and gifts? Come to find out, I was wrong.

What is Loving Day?

Loving Day is recognized on June 12, the day that the United States Supreme Court legalized interracial marriage.

I first learned about it just a couple of years ago. I was scrolling on Instagram and saw a t-shirt celebrating Loving vs. Virginia. As I read, I discovered the significance of this landmark decision and was shocked that I’d never learned about it in school—Brown vs. The Board of Education. Check. Roe vs. Wade. Check. So why not Loving vs. Virginia?

I still don’t have an answer to that question. 

What the case is about?

Mildred Jeter and Richard Loving grew up as family friends and neighbors in a less segregated Caroline County, Virginia. The pair fell in love and were married in Washington DC on June 2, 1958. A few weeks later, the newlyweds were awakened at 2 am with by the sheriff standing over their bed. He’d entered their home on a tip that Mildred, a Black / Native American woman, and Richard, an Irish / English man, were living together. Their interracial marriage was illegal in Virginia. In fact, it was illegal in 16 states!

The Lovings were arrested under Virginia’s Racial Integrity Act. They plead guilty and were given the option of serving a year in prison or being exiled from Virginia, including their home & family, for the next 25 years. They chose the latter, moving to Washington DC.

But it would prove too difficult to stay away from their loved ones, and the two along with their children would sneak back to Virginia periodically, knowing if they were caught, they’d be imprisoned again. 

After several years, amid the civil rights movement, Mildred wrote to then-Attorney General John F Kennedy for help. He assigned two young attorneys to the case who had connections with the ACLU. Although the case was lost in both the local and state courts, their attorneys didn’t give up, filing an appeal with the US Supreme Court. 

Tensions ran high in and out of the courtroom. It was truly a David and Goliath moment in history. Neither of the Lovings appeared in court, but Richard told their attorneys, “Tell the court I love my wife and it is just not fair that I cannot live with her in Virginia.” 

Loving vs. Virginia was overturned in the landmark unanimous 9-0 decision on June 12, 1967. Siting the 14th Amendment, the ruling reads,

It would still take until 2000 for the final holdout state, Alabama, to recognize this federal law…the same year I was married!

Personal Impact

In 2000, when my husband and I were married, I didn’t see us as an interracial couple because I didn’t want to acknowledge my own mixed heritage. But over the years I’ve embraced my ethnic and racial background. I’m thankful for our marriage. My husband is the man I didn’t even know I needed (but God did). He is not only my love but my biggest cheerleader and supporter. He loves me at my best and my worst, as I do him. We’re not perfect, but we are a pretty great team. 

Loving vs. Virginia was ratified just two years before my husband was born. This isn’t ancient history. This is current, in our lifetime, history! And because of Mildred and Richard’s courage, we were legally able to be married and raise our family.

But even before my marriage, was a relationship between a white woman and an Afro-Puerto Rican man that resulted in a little Mixed girl.

Loving Day…will forever have a special place in my heart.

Self Reflection:

• Has Loving vs. Virginia personally impacted your family?

• Is this the first time you’ve heard about the history of interracial marriage?

• Maybe you’re in a monoracial marriage so you never gave laws like this a second thought?

  
  I’d love to hear from you. If this post spoke to you, I’d love to hear about it. Leave a comment below

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A Little Something Extra…

Mosaic the Label

This week, I’m featuring one of my favorite small businesses, Mosaic the Label. They’re an online company that celebrates Mixed, biracial, and interracial identity. In fact, I first learned about Loving vs. Virginia when I saw their t-shirt. I immediately knew I needed one!

I love the quality of their clothes and the wide variety of accessories like stationery, jewelry, and pins. One of my favorite items is their decal stickers. They’re so witty and fun! Plus they make a great conversation starter on my laptop or water bottle.

Check out their online store. And be sure to follow them on Instagram to see when new merch drops.

Shop Mosaic the Label

Hi! I’m Torrie. Thanks for stopping by.

If this article encouraged you, provided language for what you’re feeling,
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