I didn't want to go... (Part 2)

From doubt to divine direction: How open-handed obedience led to an unexpected new beginning

May 02, 2024

[NOTE: If you haven’t read Part 1, you’ll want to start there. It will be a helpful backstory to this post.]

Where was I?
Oh yeah, night one of the conference.

After releasing a few tears and sitting through a powerful time of worship and encouragement from our keynote speaker, I attended the professional meet and greet. During this 45-minute meet-up, attendees find the three professionals they want to have a one-on-one meeting with over the next few days. They make introductions and schedule their upcoming appointment. Usually, I go into this with a list and agenda of who I want to meet and why. Not this time. This year, I only knew I wanted to sit with a friend and mentor with a long editing career. Over the past several months, I’d been helping a new author by editing their manuscript. During the process, I discovered how much fun and joy I felt using my skills to help someone else get the message God had placed on their heart into the world. In fact, if I had any thoughts going into this conference, it was that perhaps the time of writing my own content was ending, and a new season of editing was beginning to open.

I ended up making three appointments. One with my editor friend and the other two with mentors that I wanted to catch up with. I had no intentions of pitching anything other than the manuscript I’d been editing (although I did have a book on my heart). I think a bit of me had conceded. Breaking into the traditional publishing industry is so much harder than people know. The constant cycle of creating, writing, pitching, waiting, rejection, revisions, more rejection, learning, networking, marketing, and recreating becomes mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting. Editing allowed me to continue writing while avoiding the uncomfortable, hard parts, a reprieve I was more than ready to receive.

Consider This…

On the second night of the conference, I met with a friend who encouraged me to come, knowing I wanted to stay home this year. As attendees made their way from the auditorium to the late-night Q&A session, we stayed behind, talking and encouraging one another. I shared my thoughts about pursuing editing and she quickly assured me that my writing season wasn’t over yet. “I think you have so much more to say,” she’d said. “Important things people need to hear. Editing is fine. Do it if you like. But I don’t think you’re supposed to stop writing.” While I didn’t want to admit it, my gut told me she was right. It wasn’t my time to stop writing. But my heart was so heavy. Plus, I’d felt a tug to move beyond writing specifically to a Mixed-race audience. As humans, we’re blended in many ways and I’ve wanted to explore them in more detail.

“Have you ever thought about writing for teen girls?” she asked. My answer was quick. “No. I don’t write for teens. I write for adults.” “I know. But have you ever thought about reworking your content to make it available to teens?” I thought about what she was proposing, and the idea jarred me in a way that I’ve learned happens when God shakes things up. While everything inside me wanted to shut down her idea, I promised to pray and consider her suggestion.

And I did. Over the next couple of days, I prayed. I asked for confirmation and committed that if HE wanted me to write for teens I would, but He would have to make it abundantly clear.

Have you ever had a friend that God used to consistently guide you in the nicest ways without nagging that He wanted you to do something?

Have you ever had a friend that God used to consistently guide you in the nicest ways without nagging that He wanted you to do something? Me too. Every time I saw her for the rest of the conference she asked, “So…have you thought about writing for teens? What do you think? What about a devotional?” That sparked my interest. Last year, I’d written a 30-day devotional for our church on Daniel and then formatted it for YouVersion. I loved the project and learned how much I enjoyed writing devotionals. [Side note: if you’re not a writer, you might assume that we can easily write anything. Not so. Each genre has its tone, rules, skills, etc. Writing articles like this is very different from devotionals, nonfiction books, Bible studies, etc.]

“Why don’t you meet with Linda?” my friend suggested. Linda is an acquisition editor for a large Christian publishing house, which means she considers book ideas from authors and their agents. If she likes them, she pitches the concept to her team at the publishing house, who will decide which books to purchase and publish.

“But she is only acquiring children and teen books,” I replied. [Are you shaking your head, smacking your palm on your forehead, or yelling at me yet? I’m pretty sure God was by this point!] But remember, I was praying for confirmation…

Ironically, Linda was the only professional that intimidated me a little, which makes no sense because I didn’t plan on pitching to her. Plus, she didn’t even acquire the type of books I long to write. So why the butterflies?

On the last night of the conference, after all of the appointments and meetings were finished I decided to sit at Linda’s dinner table. This would be the last opportunity to talk with professionals before the end of the conference the next morning. As we ate, she asked each of us what we write (i.e., what types of books we write and who our audience is) and what we were currently working on. This is when that 30-second elevator pitch comes into play. But I didn’t have one because I wasn’t coming to pitch. I was coming to rest, replenish, and maybe learn more about becoming an editor.

As the lady to my left finished sharing, Linda looked at me. “I don’t think we’ve met yet. Tell me your name and what you write.” I gave her my name and explained that I write about identity and belonging from a Mixed-race perspective with a Jesus-centered focus. “I love that,” she said. “So what are you currently working on.” Y’all! When I say this next part of the story was an only-God moment…well, just keep reading! I proceeded to detail a teen girl devotional specifically for marginalized communities. I gave examples, data, reasons why something like this must exist, and its potential impact.

It was a Moses moment when the words coming out of my mouth were not mine.

It was a Moses moment when the words coming out of my mouth were not mine. “I love that!” Linda exclaimed. “We don’t have anything like it, but it’s very needed. When can you get me a proposal?” Stunned, I told her I would send her a proposal once I got back home…which meant, I would need to write one…on a book I hadn’t even outlined or written a page of…for teen girls, an audience I didn’t currently write to. I had no idea what I would send or where to start, but I knew God was definitely up to something.

But wait…there’s more!

The next day, I sat at my San Jose International Airport gate feeling refreshed and excited about what God was starting. My mind raced as I jotted ideas, topics, and outlines in my notes app. My trepidation had been replaced with a rush of excitement.

Although I knew a friend would be on the same flight to Vegas, this introvert was tired of peopling. I wanted to put my AirPods in and continue working on the flood of ideas I had, so I planned to sit alone. When the gate agent announced for A Group to line up for boarding, I gathered my things and found my place in line. With my boarding pass in one hand and Hydro in the other, I glanced around to see if my friend had gotten in line yet. And there, right behind me in line, was Linda! By now it was obvious that God was doing a new thing.

After our dinner conversation the night before, I was convinced God was leading me to write this teen devotional. Seeing Linda standing behind me in line was like the cherry on top because God knows His girl will overthink and second-guess things, so every once in awhile, He’ll make it abundtanly clear.

We exchanged pleasantries and started chatting. Since we were on Southwest, we could choose our seats. She asked if I wanted to sit with her. For the next hour and a half, the two of us got to know one another, discussed the devotional, and I even pitched a couple of additional ideas.

When we landed in Las Vegas, I headed to baggage claim and she headed to her connecting gate. But before we parted, she reminded me to send her the teen girl devotional proposal as soon as it’s ready.

Too often, I have my plans set and invite God to work within my set parameters. However, I’m learning how much better it is when I choose to live open-handed, remembering that HE has invited me into what He’s already started, not the other way around.

Friend, I don’t know about you, but sometimes - let’s be honest, most of the time - I’m pretty stubborn. I have my plans and ideas and invite God to do His thing within my set parameters. How backward is that? I’m so thankful for His grace and patience. I’m learning how much better it is when I live life open-handed with everything - my dreams, my fears, my desires, my direction. And how much better it is when I remember HE has invited me into what He’s already started, not the other way around.

What about you?

Do you struggle to live an open-handed life?
Where is God inviting you to trust Him, release control, and accept His invitation to step into His plans for you rather than inviting Him to be part of your plans?

I’d love to hear your story and how God is working in your life. Leave a comment to share your thoughts.

Join the Journey…

backpacker. hiker. walker. Sunset in the mountains

I’d love to invite you to join the adventure.

After all that, it’s pretty clear that God has some unexpected plans for this devotional! And just as I can’t write a word without His help, I also need your help.

How Can I Help?

There are 3 ways you can help in the early stages of this devotional project:
1. Pray. Would you consider being a prayer warrior for this project? I’ll share specific prayer requests throughout the process.
2. Subscribe. As a subscriber, you will be the first to receive updates, samples, and fun extras directly to your inbox. There will be things only subscribers will receive and I don’t want you to miss out!
3. Share. You can help spread the word by sharing this and future posts by hitting the “Share” button to add it you your social media feeds.

Your support is essential! Books cannot move forward without a supportive, engaged audience, and publishers need to see that. You can show your support by simply subscribing for FREE. Thank you SO much!

Questions?

But I’m not a teen girl.
While that is the target audience for this upcoming devotional, the universal themes we’ll dive into have a broad reach. You just might discover that they speak to some of the unhealed questions, hurts, disappointments, and even anger from your teen years.

But I don’t have a teen girl in my life.
Gen Z females range from 12-28. While you might not have a teen, I would guess you probably know someone in that age range - a grandchild, neighbor, young adult/teen at church, mentee, client, or student. The list is endless!

But I’m not from a marginalized group.
That’s totally fine. As mentioned above, many themes are universal. So, while the devotional will address them from a specific perspective, those from non-marginalized groups will still be able to connect. In addition, they will gain insight into the experiences and feelings of those who’ve had different life experiences, which I pray will spark a deeper sense of compassion and empathy.

Thank you for your support. I’m so excited about what God has already done, what He continues to do, and what is yet to come. I can’t wait to share an update on the proposal process very soon!